Coinciding with the 950th anniversary of the Norman invasion of England and William the Conqueror’s subsequent crowning at Westminster, Andy Burnham, Labour’s poster boy for righting historical wrongs, is believed to have called on the Home Secretary to open an investigation into the antics of the Duke of Normandy and the alleged backing of the French authorities, and is demanding a public enquiry into that unwarranted fracas, which is now referred to in history books as 'The Battle of Hastings.'

Campaigners for an official inquiry into the 1066 clash between King Harold’s English army and forces under the control of  William, Duke of Normandy, have claimed they have been misled by the interpretation of the battle, as depicted on the Bayeux Tapestry, which was published by French needlepoint experts, and commissioned by the conquering forces during the 11th century, on which campaigners claim 'tells a biased and heavily redacted story of the Norman Conquest of England.'
Home Secretary Amber Rudd, the new Home Secretary was believed to be considering appointing a High Court Judge to Chair a probe into the events that lead to King Harold meeting his death by an agent of the Norman Duke; who allegedly shot Harold in the eye with a well aimed arrow, whilst clearly depicted as being in an off-side position; still typical of the 'Onion Eaters' and of FIFA officials of today! 

" I told him, put a rubber sucker on it or you'll have someone's bloody eye out!"

However, in a move described as an "establishment stitch-up" by Mr Burnham, Ms Rudd, on reviewing the available evidence, has now rejected calls for a statutory inquiry or independent review into the historic confrontation at Bexhill, stating Mr Burnham and his co-campaigners were trying to undermine the very fabric of the nation in their demands, and by questioning the validity of the Doomsday Book; which William needed at the time, to raise taxes to pay his army, and to assess the wealth and assets of his newly conquered Anglo/Norman subjects, who were, under William's capitalist policies, prospering throughout the land. 

She concluded by emphasising that any enquiry into Anglo-French history, was another attempt by the Manchester Mayoral candidate as a purely populist attempt to raise his public persona and could also make negotiations on 'Brexit' even more difficult and confusing that it's proving to be!
Having carefully considered the campaigners appeal for 'compensation', Ms Rudd added, “…that having concluded that there was no sufficient basis to instigate either a statutory inquiry or an independent review, it was alleged that she thought the totally unnecessary call by the Burnham camp to open ‘old wounds’ by dangling the possibility of getting a financial settlement for the historic battle, was purely the act of a tabloid obsessed, publicity seeking group, desperate to garner votes from marginalised Anglo-Saxons, especially those who are registered to vote within the Greater Manchester area!”



  1. A public enquiry in to the battle of Orgreave is necessary to expose the disgusting behaviour and tactics of the police whom Thatcher was using effectively as her private army.

    The fact that you think it is acceptable to make light of this shows what a despicable rabid right winger you are. In fact I take that back, you have no politics, you're just a numpty who tows whatever line UKIP or the Tories are parroting that day. If Farage went on TV and called for the murdering of every first born you'd probably support it because you have no capacity to assess an argument on it's merits!

    You're being used by the right and you can't see it.

    1. Ouch! Touched a nerve, eh? Satire is used to expose and denounce hypocrisy, stupidity, absurdity, or question the underlying intentions of certain professed pillars of our society; I therefore thank you for helping me prove my point.
      However, you Mr Anonymous, ever the objective reader, don’t feel you have not got the right to be offended — you absolutely do, therefore if you don’t like my occasional attempt at wit, don’t visit.
      By the way, your line stating your opinion ‘you’re just a numpty who tows whatever line UKIP or the Tories are parroting.” Should be ‘who toes the line’ – 'to toe the party line' usage, relates to orthodoxy in politics. So who’s the numpty now, son?

  2. 'Toeing the Tories' line' - Left, Right, the Class War, renationalise the railways, Tory Toffs, Leftie scum, yack yack yack.

    The mainstream party juvenile idiots in power are so busy political point scoring and fighting increasingly irrelevant battles of the past that they've taken their eye off the reality of where Britain's heading - a chronically overpopulated Third World hellhole with a collapsed infrastructure.
    If the gutless, moronic masses ever wake up, a new party for a new era might come to power, before it's too late and Britain ceases to exist as a recognisable entity.


Please feel free to comment and express your views, all opinions are welcome but we will not post comments that contain abusive language or are deemed to be offensive or inflammatory.