27/11/2013

WHO WANTS PUDDING?

'Twas 4 weeks before Christmas and all through Santa's workshop, deep within the bowels of Tameside's Town Hall were busy little civic elves. Among them was the long-term Deputy Leader of the elves and workshop convener of the Labour controlled ‘Easily Led Vacuous Electorate’ trade union, (E.L.V.E.) - Tea-total-Taylor, an ornery elf who habitually reaches for his massive tea urn to cope with each difficult day.

Repeat after me. "Have a cuppa tea and vote for me." "Have a cuppa tea and vote for me"

…Can anyone think of a more frightening prospect for what should be a Happy Christmas season for the poor Senior Citizens of Dukinfield, than the eerie shadow of a huge metal tea-pot falling across them, in the grip of a heavily tattooed fist, being brandished by a leering councillour called Jonny the elf? It's enough to make the poor old dears choke on their figgy
pudding! 

Typical of Tameside, the very site of a career councillour venturing into the human world with his council mates once a year to offer the elderly tea and a ‘free’ game of Bingo; is tantamount to bringing Christmas into disrepute! And as soon as Christmas is over, they’ll be creating holy hell by issuing fines to people who've put their wrapping paper, ribbons and bows in the wrong bin and be nonchalant in dragging shivering residents to the magistrates court for choosing to heat & eat, rather pay their inflated council tax.

If the holiday season has already begun to grate on your nerves - the round-the-clock Christmas music, the crowded markets (they wish!) filled with crying children, the obnoxiously cheery sales clerks, wearing silly hats and reindeer ‘onesies’; the very last thing we need when we open our ‘newspapers’ is the site of career councillours, dressed in silly garb in a sad bid for cheap publicity.

People would have more respect for their councillours and their ‘charitable works’ if they did it without the ubiquitous - ‘vote for me, I’m a good guy’ - photo-call.

8 comments:

  1. When out filming the EDL protests in Ashton Under Lyne some months back, a EDL supporter came up to me in the pub after the protests. He told me he just lived round the corner from me in Dukinfield.
    The EDL supporter told me that one of the above in the picture asked him to beat me up.
    I don't doubt the EDL supporter he had no cause to lie. I was not surprised by what he told me, after all, the person in question did assault me and was interviewed under police caution after the assault.
    I just feel sorry for the people of Dukinfield they are being scammed.

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  2. Bread and Circuses' democracy

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  3. Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest.

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  4. The Retail Festival that starts in August and lasts for 5 months.

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  5. Must be a killer job. Tens of thousands a year for 'representing' 3700 people (MPs manage 100,000) the vast majority of whom they'll never meet or do a thing for.

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  6. Surely this is a breach of "Elf and Safety" Legislation??

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  7. wonder what they are thinking about the proposed closure of Dukinfield Swimming pool?

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  8. Wonder what they are DOING about it.

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