18/04/2013

WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?



"The writing is on the wall for Cllr Philip Fitzpatrick!"
Now here’s some striking news …according to the council’s latest Press Release, Hyde’s Indoor market is no longer a ‘hidden gem’ thanks to its eye-catching new entrance!

To illustrate the fact, we saw a grinning councillor Philip Fitzpatrick in last week’s local press, standing in front of a sequence of 3D boxes; arms akimbo, gesticulating dramatically, in a style which could only be described as reflecting his sense of irony, humour and ambiguity to what appears to be, nine hastily commandeered and carefully choreographed passers-by.


In his press statement; in which he revealed the raison d’étre behind the artistic production, councillor Fitzpatrick described the artwork as ‘stunning’ to the accidental audience, which, if he is to be taken seriously, heralds my fear that it can only be a matter of time before some other well meaning innovative aesthetics committee is subsumed into the meaningless world of art drivel, to act as gullible foils for our artistically inept councillors.


This will once again expose the good people of Tameside, to yet another barrage of art, consisting of refuse-piled-on-refuse, then-painted!


The article went on to feature what can only be prescribed as ‘the bleeding obvious’ comments from Mr Malcolm Angus, Clarendon Square’s Manager, who said: “As a family friendly shopping centre which welcomes more than 4.1 million shoppers each year, we are an ideal location to host this fantastic sculpture, which is the result of a lot of creative thought and hard work! – Well they would be in an ideal location, being in Hyde, wouldn’t they! …But 4.1 million visitors a year! - 78,846 shoppers per week! …In his dreams!


Now, although this politically constructed groups’ work provides the most identifiable starting point for this crap-on-crap art, we should really attribute the inception of the pairing together of banal objects in alphabetical boxes, squarely at the feet of Hyde Ward Member councillor Philip Fitzpatrick, who has apparently helped to organise the project, and to which he attributed the rational “This stunning piece of artwork, gives Hyde Indoor Market the entrance it deserves. - A sentiment to which, I couldn’t agree more!


The 3D ‘sculpture’ spells out ‘Hyde Indoor Market’ in a collage of different materials – from buttons and keys to comics and even dog chews – apparently, all items that can be bought on the market stalls; - although leaving off a hooded jacket, orange face make-up, an electric mobility scooter and a couple of pound-pies, is surely a big aesthetic mistake.


So, if one adds this trite new-age artwork, to the removal of the majority of traditional market stalls and replacing them with £1.3million of paving slabs, it would seem that Hyde market is gaining something of a history of ‘Combining Crap with Crap’, but I suggest that it might have been better understood if the councillor concerned tried combining Crêpes with Crêpes as an opening menu in a new family catering business or some other meaningful enterprise which might have created a quantifiable business opportunity. 


But of course I could be wrong. Maybe this radical idea could end up as a fascinating footnote in future art history books, however, I’m pretty sure I passed by a pile of discarded rubbish at the rear of Paul’s Carpets the other day, that looked strikingly similar to councillor Philip Fitzpatrick’s’ ‘stunning’ artwork.








2 comments:

  1. Eye Witness Account4/19/2013 1:48 am

    I was at the election count when Philip won the Hyde Newton by-election. I will never forget his words upon realising that he had just become an elected councillor "That's my pension boxed off" he said. It was a defining moment for me. Keep up the good work Curmudgeon. You have an excellent blog.

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  2. Level playing field4/20/2013 12:23 am

    I remember the Newton by-election and the bussed in groups of leftie outsiders putting out 28,000 vile, lying smear leaflets against the BNP.

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